February 22, 2018
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Stories may build up around our wounds like scar tissue. This is true of both physical and emotional wounds. When children experience rejection or abandonment by a key caregiver in childhood, it may produce an “abandonment” schema that will later prevent them as adults from fully trusting or loving another person for fear that they will be abandoned. In such an underlying schema, feelings of love and trust may be associated with abandonment, based on selective experiences. Children raised in a verbally abusive environment where they are repeatedly shamed, told they are worthless, or subjected to a dysfunctional environment in which they absorb messages of worthlessness and inferiority, are at risk for developing schemas of “worthlessness”, “incompetence, inherent unlovability. Interestingly, some individuals growing up in such environments are nonetheless able to develop stories of resilience that enable them to escape from the prevailing narratives of the invalidating environments in which they were raised.